We continue to stay in Antibes, France for today and we continue to travel with our dolphins as they carry on their performance.
An innocent hula hoop held in the trainer’s hand, and the ever-present whistle. The dolphin jumps through it with ease, as if flying.
And I probably have challenged you to consider how many hoops have you jumped through in your life. It is a question I have been posing throughout these 100+ days.
How much are you trying to please others instead of actually being ok with just pleasing the one and most important human in the world YOU?!
I am wondering when did you jump through the first figurative hoop in order to get a positive reaction?
Was it when you laughed at your mother for the first time and then she did that same movement and you laughed and she laughed and everybody laughed, and you recognised that if you laugh, she wiggles that thing again and you are entertained?
Was it when you put on your trousers the right way?
Was it when you managed to pull your shirt on the right arm at a time
Was it when she got really angry and you said sorry, and then she was fine again; but actually, it was not you who made her mad; she was already mad, but you only did a minor thing and that broke the camel’s back?!
Or was it when you got your first A, or was it when your first love of your life gave you that first glance; and you knew that if you just pleased them enough, they will give you another chance of a date?!
When did you learn that jumping through hoops to please others gets you rewards?
I often ask clients who are the most important people in their lives, and you know what they say?! Well, I am not going to tell you, try and figure it out yourself, who is the most important person in the world?
Today I challenged a young client to build a card tower and clearly the table was unstable and therefore not the right environment for the task. After 30 minutes of trying to build the card tower and constantly failing to get passed one stack, the client figured out that perhaps the environment was not quite right. So, they tried a different location, and that was not working. So, they got frustrated with the task and themselves and all the while their internal talk was super negative; and they literally said “I bet in your head you are screaming at me why am I not getting it right”, and in fact my mind was blank, but they thought that I would be getting frustrated with their inability to get the task done. Clearly this was their experience with adults. All the while the point of the task was for them to recognise that in order to achieve something, it was not the environment or the cards that needed to be different, it was their own thought process, their own belief in their own knowledge; patience with themselves and be present more, so they can accomplish as much of the task as they could. In their own minds they were jumping through hoops in the hopes that they would please me, whilst all the while I wanted them to feel accomplished and learn to give themselves the credit for completing something they have never done themselves, but have seen others do it.
So what colour is your hoop?!
Time to take out your diary and take some notes when answering the questions.
Conscious Mentorship
If you would like to explore thing further, why not book with me and allow me to help you find your path to self.
